Image sources: Left, reecesrainbow.org — Right, freepik.com 

My Real Memoir: My First Kid Friend

Eddie Was Different

He wasn’t my first human friend (that would by Crazy Old Alice). But Weird Eddie was my first kid friend. He sort of looked Chinese, and I liked that. He also talked differently, and very little. And even though he was bigger, he didn’t seem as smart as me, but I didn’t mind. His mom seemed grateful when I visited, and offered us non-stop treats. But Eddie had two big obsessions which kept us outside.

First, He Collected String

Even the tiniest pieces were treasures. The moment Eddie found one, he’d add it to his Humungous Ball of String. Which I found kind of boring. But what happened next was amazing!

The time had come for Eddie to carry his Humongous Ball of String to a big tree out front, and begin ceremoniously stringing it from limb to limb. He started with the lowest limbs, and then worked his way up to the highest. And I got to help. Hours later, the tree had become a colossal spider’s web of string!

And Then the Fun Began

Eddie climbed to the top of the tree, and dove down into the spider’s web, bouncing from level to level until he’d reached the ground! So I did it too. And it was epic! And once we’d reached the grass, we did it again! And again. And again. Until we’d finally broken most of the string. Then Eddie began lovingly re-building The Humongous Ball of String for some future colossal spider’s web event!

Eddie’s Other Obsession…

…was collecting grasshoppers. Which at first I thought was neato. He’d add each grasshopper he found to his Red Flyer wagon — after tearing off one its legs in order to make it stay. “No!” I shouted, and ordered him to stop! But he absolutely refused. Which was not OK with me!

So one day, while Eddie was inside, I pulled his wagon to the front yard and set all 200 grasshoppers free just like I had my babysitter Frieda’s parakeets! When Eddie came back out, he was devastated. He screamed. And screamed. And then he dropped to the ground sobbing, and began tearing up of handfuls of grass. I went home, thinking, Boy, Eddie really is weird.

I felt good–heroic and noble. So, even when Eddie’s mom told my mom about the Great Grasshopper Liberation, I refused to apologize. I was grounded for a week, but refused to relent. Actually, I rather liked being a martyr.

Until Momandad Sat Me Down and Explained

Eddie was what some people back then called a “mongoloid,” a type of “mental retardation” that gave him those “Chinese” eyes* I liked. He was nine years old, almost twice my age, they said, but wouldn’t be going to school with me that fall.

After that, I felt bad for Eddie and apologized. In a way, it seemed to me, Eddie was a one-legged grasshopper.

When I did start school a few months later, and found myself surrounded by “normal” kids, I felt a little like Weird Eddie myself. So I made a point of befriending other weird kids…

Like me.

*Some people with Down Syndrome (the old term “mongoloid” was based on outdated, racist theories) have slightly upward slanting eyes.

To read My Real Memoir from the start, click here. To read the next episode, click here.